Well, let's see, buttercup. One, because I'm probably the only person who's going to give you the time of day right now. Two, because you're high as a kite and I'm betting you wouldn't make it five steps without keeling over and eating dirt, the way you're hacking after every drag. Three, because you make one move toward either of those goals and I guarantee the wild animals will hold you down and maul you until you can't. And four, you really don't want to get mauled since the only competent medic, me, is currently about eight hours away from you by air in a world with no damn planes.

[WELL OKAY HE WILL TRY HE GUESSES???]

Now put that damn thing out and cut the crap.