leftinbasketforfbi | 1st Genius α Video/Action for New Bark Ω

[It takes him a bit to figure out how the hell to start the feed. When he finally does, all PokéConnect is treated to the sight of a deceptively calm man dressed in purple pants and a white shirt tied with a gray obi, the traditional psychic’s outfit. An Absol keeps pacing behind him, as if expecting him to fall over at any moment and preparing itself to catch him. Honestly, that’s because it is, since its new Trainer has had a massive panic attack that caused him to pass out once already, and Absol can sense that there will be more to come. This is going to be a long partnership.]

Morgan, if this is a prank, alright. You got me. You win the war.

[The man holds up his hands in defeat, still unnaturally calm.]

I don’t know how you did it, but you can stop now. I get it. You can make the Pokémon go away. Once again, I have no idea how you did it…

[His throat gets tight. He struggles to keep his breathing even.

Please, Morgan. Please oh please make this stop.]

But you can stop it now. I have a lot of work to do, and giving me strange clothes, asking a woman to pretend to be my mother, and trying to make me doubt my own sanity is not helping.

[Please let this be a prank. Please say he’s not completely insane.]

And you can turn off the music while you're at it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He'd love you forever if you did, Albert. ;.; ]

I... that's okay. I like to keep my feet on the ground, thanks. [He's cool with planes, but come on. Riding birds.]

People have made the trip without fire making tools, a pot, or even just a purifier? [...Even if other people have done it, he's not comfortable with it.] I might ask the woman who said she was my mother for something. Do you--does the same woman say she's everyone's mother?

[Well, you know. Suffer bravely on, soldier. Life is hard in Pokemon Land.]

Not just people. Kids. Nine, ten years old, traipsing through the forest like this is some kind of great adventure.

[The tone very plainly indicates that he seems to think such kids are delusional. And perhaps rightfully so.]

Yeah, June Cleaver. She's got a set spiel that everyone gets. I wouldn't bother trying to make conversation, she'll just broom you out of the house before you can get anywhere.

[Can he go home now? :< ]

Wait, wait, kids? [Whoa, no, not okay.] People have been letting nine- and ten-year-olds go into the woods alone for three days? [Reid now thinks the adults who permanently live in New Bark Town are all horrible people. Where the hell is Social Services?!] That's--that's criminally negligent! And reckless endangerment of a child, depending on the legal definition here. Does that woman just sweep them out too? [Mom is a terrible mother. She should be arrested.]

[Mom is a real piece of work, he's not denying that for an instant. Granted, she's also a robot probably, so being a terrible mother is sort of par for the course.]

She sweeps everybody out. Look, I'm not saying I believe it, but there are people here who think this place is structured like some kind of game, and "Mom" is the opening act. Which would at least explain the script. And the complete lack of logic.

[A beat.]

And the fact that none of the rent-a-cops around here have ever heard of a judiciary, so the whole damn place is a police state. That's why your gun's gone, by the way. Strict prohibitions on anything even remotely close to a weapon. Which is why I'm stuck doing surgery with an oversize praying mantis instead of a scalpel.

A game? Well, I guess it would fit with the Pokemon theme, but there's a big difference between games and reality. In reality, kids that young shouldn't be going on adventures.

[Wait.]

They don't have judiciaries?! [Oh shit, that's a real problem.] So there's no due process? What happens if someone files false charges against someone else or tries to buy off policemen?

...And they're okay with nine-year-olds going out in the woods alone for days, but they're not okay with a trained professional using a scalpel? [WTF is this place even]

[Yeah, tell him about it. It's just one of the many reasons the local PD frustrates him so much. And there are many reasons.]

No due process. Which I guess is just a given when you also don't have a codified set of laws or any built-in protections for individual freedoms. Seems like the place runs on a common-sense honor system, and the police just show up every time something traditionally held as "bad" occurs. For a sweeping definition of "bad". There's only two punishments I've ever heard of getting handed down, two weeks' community service and two weeks' jail time, and from what I hear, local law enforcement likes to perceive offers of bail as attempts to bribe an officer of the law.

[Reid can tell already that this is going to be really, really frustrating.]

What is their definition of bad? I mean, by 'bad', are they only talking about things like theft, assault, and murder? Or does that also include things like homosexual relationships, insulting the government, and dishonoring one's parents? It--values change depending on where you're from and when you're born. How could they not even have an outline of what is illegal and what isn't? And what about--what's keeping an officer from abusing their power?

[Reid doesn't know how this place could possibly function.] Two weeks in jail is the worst you've heard of? But what about sex offenders and murderers? You can't just--there are some people you can't put back in society!

How about the guys who'd trick a kid of about fifteen into planting a bomb in the lighthouse of one of the seaside towns and then stand back and film the thing live as it blew so we all could appreciate the artistic endeavor. That mess went down a few weeks back now; take a wild guess which of the two ended up hiding out in the wilderness for two weeks after he got a police bulletin slapped on him, and which one got off scot-free.

[Yeah, he mad. He just a little bit mad.]

Get used to the thought that the people here don't care. Procedure's nonexistent and there's not a lot of room for gray area in the good guy/bad guy dichotomy they've got running. This place isn't a society. It's a farce, and I don't like it a single bit, but you're looking at a world half full of people who think the worst thing that can happen to you is to lose a dogfight between your critter and someone else's, and half who are all convinced they were warriors and action heroes and chosen ones back in a different life. Rule of law means nothing. It's all good guy machismo and Campbellian hero quests, and everybody's expecting a storybook conclusion at the end.

1st Genius α Video/Action for New Bark Ω

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