Neither am I, but while you've been here, have you known of anyone dying?

[Reid rolls his eyes at all the snark, but it doesn't really bother him any.] Why don't you try to use a psychic animal? I don't know how intelligent Paras are, but I do know that these animals can communicate with one another and psychics-types can communicate with us. Having a translator who can tell you how things look from Thing's end and then tell Thing about what's going on in simple terms he can understand might be helpful, and if it isn't, then it's not exactly draining resources and will give you a chance to try to think of something else to do.

[It's worth a shot. Go forth and find a therapist for the crab. :I ]