leftinbasketforfbi | 3rd Study Done Β Video/Action for Mio Ψ

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3rd Study Done Β Video/Action for Mio Ψ

[He doesn't like going on the network. Like, he really doesn't like going on the network. Unfortunately, he has to move past it right now because SCIENCE and also his munna is sick.

So when the feed starts, Reid (who is wearing HUGE glasses today) is sitting with his back against a tree, taking a break from all the traveling with Mio. Yang the Absol is curled up next to Reid's leg, staring at the communicator. In Reid's arms is the most sad-looking munna ever, and its face looked a little green. It's a sick, sad munna.]

Um, hi?

[Reid cradles Flora the munna carefully, readjusting the glasses on his nose.] Right. Uh, for those of you who don't know, I'm Dr. Spencer Reid. Not that--you don't have to call me that. Spencer or Reid will work fine.

[As you can probably tell, Reid is not good at talking to lots of strangers.]

It's come to my attention that no one's ever formally gathered data about arrivals and departures from this place, and in hopes of finding a pattern that could lead us to being able to better predict who might come and go, I put together a survey. The more people who contribute, the more useful the results will be, so any spare moment you could use to fill it out would be appreciated.

[He switches to text briefly to provide a link to the survey.]

This, um... isn't exactly my realm of expertise? That is, my specialty is largely theoretical and practical applications of knowledge, not setting up studies, and without any kind of possible beta testing, this study isn't exactly what I would call formal. So really, any suggestions on how to improve it or any help from people experienced with correlational studies would be helpful.

On a more personal note...

[He glances down, his glasses hiding his eyes, and he shifts so the munna is more visible on the screen. The poor thing looks utterly pathetic--she's not even hovering.]

Flora has been very sick since she hatched. Does anyone know what might be wrong with her?

[She'll tell you what's wrong with her. She's living off a steady diet of nothing but sleep terrors and nightmares. Reid, you really should see someone about that.]

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[CHALLENGE: ACCEPTED.]

What makes you think I've been traveling on foot in the first place?

...Have you been staying in one place the whole time you've been here?

No, but when your friend's got an in with the cab service, you don't do a whole lot of walking.

[Why are you so goddamn lucky. >| ]

So have you walked any of the routes on foot before?

[Ugh, this talk about walking is reminding him of the pain in his knee brought on by way too much walking. Excuse him while he unconsciously starts to rub it.]

Even just to explore for a day or so?

[Because that's what you get when a friend of a friend owns seven things that fly. PERKS.]

Yeah, I took a few looks around at the local flora. Some of the native berries have medicinal properties as far as the wildlife's concerned. They're also apparently hell on earth for the human digestive system.

One of the days I was out there was when I picked up Thing. More specifically, when my dog picked up Thing and got a faceful of poison spores for her trouble.

[Damn it, Albert. >| ]

Yeah, I read about the berries. I've given a few to my animals, but from what I read, they're not good for humans to eat.

Thing. That's your crab, right? How is he... or she doing? Last time I checked, she had highly invasive surgery without any modern medical equipment available.

[He gets that a lot. B) ]

Depends what you call "not good". There are side effects, sure, and they're sure not going to do for you what they do for the wildlife, but they aren't all going to kill you, either. Some of them might even be useful, in a pinch.

Right. Thing's the crab. [HE DOES NOT WARRANT A BETTER NAME THAN THAT.] As biologically questionable hermit crabs go, he's a real trooper. We're keeping an eye on him lately, though — Dummy caught some signs that the mushrooms might be growing back in. And if they are, we've got a problem.

I heard that we can't even die here. [Reid furrows his brow, pursing his lips.] Is that... How is that even possible? Do you have any idea?

I think Thing is a Paras. I read a little about them in Cherrygrove. Apparently, tochukaso is endemic to the species, to the point where people actually consider the state of being utterly taken over by the fungus to be a Paras's evolution. But, there have apparently been cases of Paras removing it on their own and being able to keep it from growing back, so there has to be a way.

It's not a theory I'm exactly eager to test.

You read the index entry on it, right? The reason we went in when we did is because at the point I got to him, Thing was a ticking time bomb. The mushrooms aren't strong enough or mature enough to take over until a certain point in the crab's development, and Thing was sitting right on the edge of that line. Convincing him to get rid of the fungus would've been the ideal solution, but we didn't exactly have a lot of time to sit around playing therapist to a bug with the mental fortitude of Scooby Doo.

Why, have you thought of a way to life coach a crab into getting rid of a parasitic fungus that's aiming to possess and enslave it? Because if you have, you missed your calling as Dear Abby — there's a lot of unhappy marriages out of there that could've sure used you.

Neither am I, but while you've been here, have you known of anyone dying?

[Reid rolls his eyes at all the snark, but it doesn't really bother him any.] Why don't you try to use a psychic animal? I don't know how intelligent Paras are, but I do know that these animals can communicate with one another and psychics-types can communicate with us. Having a translator who can tell you how things look from Thing's end and then tell Thing about what's going on in simple terms he can understand might be helpful, and if it isn't, then it's not exactly draining resources and will give you a chance to try to think of something else to do.

[It's worth a shot. Go forth and find a therapist for the crab. :I ]

You realize you're advocating that I go have a tender heart-to-heart with a bug by proxy of a psychic cat. Obligations to the Hippocratic Oath aside, I just want to make sure we're all clear about what's actually being prescribed here.

[Frankly, he probably would've tried the Psychic route prior to now himself if not for the fact that his two available options are a pet cat and the starter of someone he hates. Sigh.]

And no. From what I've seen personally, nobody's yet died. No obituaries on the news, no freak accidents landing somebody in the nonexistent morgue. Supposedly there's some kind of graveyard around, but there's no telling if that's just for scenery or if there's really somebody in it.

Yes, I think we're all clear about what's being prescribed.

[You see, you are a kind person underneath it all. :3 ]

Also, crabs are technically crustaceans, not insects. They share the same phylum--that is, both are anthropods--but they belong to different subphyla. Insects are actually hexapods. [This is what you're signing up for, Albert. This is the nerd you other FBI guys are taking in.

Reid frowns, furrowing his brow in thought.] If death didn't exist here, then why would the local population even think to have a graveyard? This society hasn't shown too much innovation or creative thought so far--why would they make a leap to decorate for a concept they can only imagine?

[Shhh, no one is supposed to realize he is secretly a good person deep, deep down.]

Tell that to the index. They tend to stick to Baby's First Nomenclature around here, so by their system, it's slotted in as a bug. I didn't come up with it.

[See, look, he's embracing Johto. See? See? Ugh, he hates this place so much.]

Take that line of reasoning one step farther. How can a society where no one dies still manage to embrace the concept of Ghost-type organisms?

[Sorry, Albert, Reid linefaces at you keeping the secret.]

Well... that's true. But I'm not sure how much trust I put in this world's understanding of biology... [NOTHING MAKES SENSE HERE.

Oh, and his brow is furrowing harder.]

That's... yeah, you're right. Why would they even think of the idea of ghosts? It feels... [He shrugs his shoulders helplessly.] It feels like a book with a very underdeveloped world as its setting.

[Stop that linefacing. Stop that right now.]

I wouldn't call it underdeveloped so much as sanitized. It's not that they don't have a concept of death, it's that they've taken out the severity and consequence. Death exists, but it doesn't happen to anybody, because that would be bad. Same with the rest of it. The place wants you to take it for granted because then everyone's just happier that way.

[LINEFACING SO HARD]

So... this place is trying to imitate a modern children's story, then?

[Reid shakes his head, subconsciously rubbing his knee again.] That's not... it's a nice idea. A nice concept. But there's no such thing as a perfect world, and taking death out of the equation won't make everything better. [He works his jaw, staring at the ground for a moment.]

There will always be people who are compelled to hurt others. How do those people cover up their crimes if they can't kill their victims? [He is actually terrified of the idea. Violent people will always have violent impulses they can't control but want to dodge the consequences of. Those people would find a way to make sure their victims would never tell.

If you can't die, there's no escape.]

[KEEP THAT UP AND YOUR FACE WILL STICK THAT WAY.]

I get the feeling that whoever came up with this place wasn't exactly building it with serial killers in mind. But even the safeguards they've got in place are the simplistic ones. No weapons. Be "bad" and you get arrested. But you can beat somebody's head in with a rock and you don't see this place eliminating every one of those. They'll hand kids a dog that can spit fire for twenty feet and nobody stops to think they might use it to burn down a house or burn up the next guy they meet. It's a set of rules made for a kid with loopholes that an adult could drive a truck through.

You think about it too much and it's going to drive you crazy. If it hasn't already.

[HE WILL ETERNALLY LINEFACE AT YOU

Also do you really have to say it like that? The corners of his mouth tighten and his posture gets a little stiff at 'it's going to drive you crazy if it hasn't already'. He knows he's bad at disguising his expression, so he's going to try to make you think the change in mood is about something else.]

This place may not be designed for serial killers, but that doesn't change the fact that there are going to be people like that who'll come here. I've already--I've already seen some people who show warning signs. What do we do if we end up with a person with the compulsions of a serial killer and access to animals that can do anything from paralyze a person to freeze them?

[YES. HE DOES. Because he is not here to coddle anybody's deep-seated fears ~~except Coop's~~ and you know what, it's a figure of speech anyway.]

I don't know. Outsmart them? Beat them at their own game? If I had the answer key for how to stamp out all the evil in the world, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now.

And maybe you're thinking that the world needs death because of people like that, not for the guys who get off on it but for the victims for whom it's the last resort. Maybe we do. But none of us has ever tried to play hardball in a world where death was off the table before, and maybe the rules are different. There's a lot we don't know. The best any of us can do is look at the situation in front of us and make the best call we can with what we've got. They should've drummed into your head during training that you're not going to save everyone, no matter how convinced you are that you can be the exception. We do our best. We go to sleep at night. And the next day we go back again because every damn one of us believes that what we do is going to make a tiny bit of difference that'll add up to something big in the long run.

Now, look. You've got a brain in that walnut sitting between your shoulders. You want to stop them? Don't sit around waiting for them to make the first move. Like it or not, the rules are different here, and nothing says we're stuck using the same playbook we had at home. They've got a dog that spits fire? Maybe we've got a cat with a water gun. You're the one telling me to mind-meld with an arthropod as a valid medical procedure, remember? Figure it out. Write a new playbook. It's sure as hell better than stressing yourself into an anxiety attack over an equation that's never going to come out in your favor anyway.

[/ALBERT RANT™]

[At least give him another week of being here and constantly being reminded that he might very well be having a psychotic break. He'll be better at dealing with it after that, he swears. :<

His brow furrows, mostly because he's not used to people telling him to try outright rewriting the rule book. He's used to rules and procedure. He's not bound by them, but he's used to them, and he's used to being directed and told what to do by Hotch.

But wait.

Waaaaaiiiiit.

He raises up his hands a little, an unfinished gesture, and his eyes fix somewhere past Albert. Hear that? That's the sound of his giant brain making a breakthrough.] These aren't the same rules...

[Of course. Of course. Why didn't he see it before? Here he was, stuck with the notion that he had to do the same thing that he did at home, that he had to fight using guns and profiling and procedure, when they all have animals that can do the impossible, not just the bad guys. Who said that they have to stick to 'Pokemon battles'? Or to practical uses in medicine? Who said that they couldn't just get a Pokemon with vines and apprehend an unsub using those? Or freeze them in a block of ice and push them into a police station? Who said that Yang can only protect from wild an--of course. Of course of course it was so obvious]

Thank you.

[When the rules of cards change, you don't keep trying to play by the old ones. You play by the new ones, and then you learn how to game the system. He needs to stop dwelling on what's impossible where he comes from, and start dwelling on what he can use here.]

That was exactly what I needed to hear. Could you give me a second? [And without waiting for an answer, he pulls a notebook and a pencil from his backpack, and his hand starts flying across the pages, scribbling furiously. Possibilities, impossibilities, they're all different, but he's listing them all and he's going to go through one by one and see how they can twist them in their favor should they need to.]

[...Okay, you know, when he said write a new playbook he didn't actually mean RIGHT NOW and LITERALLY, but you know what, it's always a little uplifting to deploy a righteous rant of motivational wisdom and see it actually take root in the people who needed to hear it.

(And damn if this kid doesn't remind him of Cooper in a lot of ways, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and brilliant in ways that most people can't even comprehend.)

Albert of all people knows what it's like to be a by-the-rules kind of guy; quite frankly, that's part of the reason he's been pushing back so hard against Johto, himself. It's not a world that easily aligns with the way he wants things to be, and voicing his displeasure follows naturally from coping with it. Getting the job done isn't synonymous with liking the circumstances he has to contend with to do it.

But he's also the person who once told Dale Cooper to embark on whatever vision quest he needed for the sake of catching a killer, in utter defiance of all conventional logic and rationality, because when the chips are down what matters is that the job does get done, regardless of the crazy, inane, illogical, impossible methods you have to use to do it.

And so maybe, you know, that rant was kind of what Albert needed to hear, too.]

Eureka, I think he's got it.

[Look at the kid go, man.]

[Well, this one definitely took root. Because of his age and the fact he looks like Bambi, people usually either treat him gently or completely dismiss him--few people actually sit down and make him hear what he needs to.

Albert's blunt abrasiveness is not just refreshing: it's effective.

(Admit it, Albert. You like him.)]

Y-yeah. Yeah, I think I do.

[Reid looks up at him, chewing his lip, his mind whirring at the speed of light, thoughts of schizophrenia and fear and helplessness forgotten.] I think I need to cut this conversation short. Do you--do you mind if I call if I need an opinion? [Because you and Coop have proven that you are smart and can think critically about hypotheticals. Reid's smart enough to know that a genius can make mistakes, so someone around who's willing to point them out and help him when he can't think of anything is invaluable.]

[(Sure does, but you know what, shut up.)

Fortunately for everyone concerned, one of Albert's specialties happens to be the laser-guided verbal kick in the head. Coop's the people person of the team, and Gordon's the ringleader of the circus. Albert, he makes sure things get done. Even when that involves motivating other people into getting them where they all need to go.]

Yeah. Take a while and get your pig checked out. Your thing ought to have my number saved in it already — like an automatic address book. Stay in touch.

[A beat.]

And when you get up here, I better see you bringing some ideas with you.

[Translation: WE'RE DOIN' IT, MAN, WE'RE MAKIN' IT HAPPEN.]

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3rd Study Done Β Video/Action for Mio Ψ

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